Mullet and Redneck Haiku

Some original, some gathered from 'round and about.
All give me great, great joy. 


Rain falls on a tin roof
Ford up on blocks. Sheesh...
My goiter's gettin' bigger

Lynnrd Skynnrd ain't
won no spelling bees. Who cares?
They rock the trailer.

Gennessee beer fart
Goes well with spicy pork rinds.
My heartbeat just stopped

Dale Earnhart is dead
I will perform sepokku
At the next Nascar

Impure mullet dreams
"have another Zima, hon?"
Covets tasty niece

Crusted in boogers,
Kool-Aid Stained, baby has face
Only Mama loves

O! Squirrel my brother,
Your tail, my hair - We are one
yet I must eat you

Dogs urinate where
they so choose And so do I
Red and blue lights flash

The next two are a Pas de Deux

Kool smoke mullet stands
At window watching rain fall
Soft on his IROC

His tortured nightmares
Phish concerts and micro brews.
Hippies kick his ass

Guest Poet - Greg Wikinson

Hogs are actin' strange
Joe-Bob's been in the Barnyard
Hope PETA don't come

Missin' Dubya bad
He were the best "Decider"
Join the NRA

A collection from the brilliant mind of J. D. "Cannibal" Patsfield

 Trailer creaks and groans
When Betty-Sue and I do
The lords sacred dance.


Party in the back
But it's business in the front
My sweet sweet mullet.


Hunting dog has fleas
And my girl has crabs and lice
Critters get critters.
 


Christian mingle date
We wear the same size ball cap
And chew the same chew.
 


This deer ain't gonna
Shoot its self. So I have to
Own four hundred guns.
 


Keeping my southern
Flag flying so high and proud.
Was born in New York.
 


We got all dressed up
And went to get fancy eats
At the Denny's.
 


Two times six is eight
America is the best
Third grade was so hard.


Guns, god, and glory.
Makes our country better
Than yours. USA!


Can you make a sheep
Purr like a Chevy big block
Engine? Cause I can....


Marriage is for boys
And girls only. It's Gods law.
But cousins are fine.

  
 
Please add to this collection. Post your contribution and how you would like to be credited in comments and I will happily add. So nice to keep this art form alive, yes?

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